24. How do you feel about the terms pro-ana/pro-mia?
I’m honestly not sure how to answer this question. The term makes me feel sad for those who are dealing with the illnesses associated with it, and angry that there is actually material and whole websites dedicated to maintaining the affliction. It horrifies me that my daughter has this material and “support” at her fingertips when she gets older. I just hope she has a good enough self image to avoid falling into this sometimes bottomless trap along the journey to self love and acceptance.
14. What’s your UGW? When do you expect to reach it?
My UGW is 145lbs. I’m honestly not sure when I expect to reach it. Life has thrown so many curveballs at me these past few months and that has made it hard to concentrate on the weight loss the way I’d like to. I don’t think I’m going to set a date to reach my goal because it will set me up for failure. Rather, I will continue to plug away at it and reach my goal when I reach via hard work and perseverance.
15. Are you vegan or vegetarian? If so, has this helped you lose weight? If not, would you ever consider turning vegan or vegetarian?
I am not vegan/vegetarian. I don’t eat a lot of red meat. I prefer poultry, pork, and seafood. I’m not sure I could go vegan, but I’ve considered vegetarianism as well as pescatariansim.
16. When did you first decide to lose weight?
I’ve struggled with my weight for years, yo-yoing up and down, but not so much as I have since the birth of my children. So I guess you could say I decided years ago that I wanted to lose weight, but never really had the tools I needed to do it until now.
17. Do you have an eating disorder?
No. I don’t think. I just have unhealthy eating habits.
18. What food is your weakness?
19. When is the last time you ate fast food?
Earlier this month when I went for a job interview. I stopped at A&W for lunch.
20. Favorite diet?
A healthy one.
21. What are your clothing sizes?
My jeans are 18, but are too big since I’ve started losing weight. The other day I bought 4 XL tops, down from the usual 1X/2X I usually have to buy.
22. What was your lowest weight? How and why did you gain?
I don’t remember my lowest weight. If I had to guess, I’d say likely around 150lbs. I was actually pretty consistent until I got pregnant. I lost weight throughout both pregnancies, and then gained very quickly after they were born.
23. Did the media play a role in your wanting to lose weight?
No. Definitely not!
10. What was the hardest thing you gave up during this weight loss?
Back in November I gave up Pepsi. It was HARD to do! For years I drank as much as 3-4 710ml bottles of Pepsi A DAY! Every time I tried to quit, I would get physically ill and would go back to it just to stop the discomfort. Finallly in November I made a switch. I traded the Pepsi for coffee. I figured the coffee would help alleviate the withdrawal symptoms, and it worked. I only rarely have Pepsi now, and only as a treat.
11. Your favorite thinspo blog and why?
TaraLynn McNitt is a 21.5 year old young lady who fought with her weight for years, starting around middle school. Each year became more of a battle than the year before. At the end of High School she hit a low and decided to change her life for the better. For whatever reason this time it stuck. She is now an inspiration to many through her healthy living blog. I guess I really like her because TaraLynn reminds me of myself, in some ways. I can completely identify with the horror that school was for her. I lived it, too. All of it. Now I peruse her blog whenever I feel down or feel like giving up and I realize that if she can do it on her own, so can I. Thankfully, I don’t have to because I have NEL to help me through.
12. What do you normally eat?
I don’t know if this question is referring to what I eat now or what I used to eat, but I’m going to answer the latter. Before starting this journey, I sometimes went days without eating anything. I rarely go hungry. When I did get hungry, I filled my body with junk. Ice cream, chocolate, chips, Pepsi, candy, pizza, and other fatty/unhealthy foods. That has changed BIG TIME since starting this journey. I rarely even have those items in the house anymore, and when I do, they’re consumed in moderation.
13. Are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?
I think so. I am not removing anything completely from my life, only moderating. I still eat sweets and “junk”, but I try to really pay attention to my portions. I am trying to concentrate on eating healthier items when I become snacky - fruits & veggies - and still stay within my daily calorie limit. Along with the eating, I am trying to move more. Exercising with NEL and going for walks, etc. with the fam.
Day 8: Your workout routine.
Right now I work out with NEL 3 times a week, when I’m feeling well enough. Other than that, we go for walks as a family and I try to workout on the little bit of equipment I have at home. I have recently started jogging on the spot at home, as well.
Day 9: Did people ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?
All my life. I am blessed (read: cursed) with a family who tells you exactly what they think without taking into consideration how it might make one feel. My grandfather and father are well known for commenting things like, “your ass is kinda big for that chair, isn’t it?” Or, “you’re looking pretty big these days.” Or, “you’re eating well, I see.” It was very hurtful growing up as a teenager, especially seeing as I wasn’t even overweight back then. But for some reason as I grew older it cut deeper, and deeper. I finally reached a point in my life where I had to try and ignore the comments, no matter how much they hurt. It became easier when I moved away from them.
Day 6: Do you binge? If so, explain why you think you do.
I think I binge when my period hits. PMS sucks! It’s then that I want wings, pizza, chips, pop, chocolate, candy, ice cream, etc. It’s worse than being pregnant! Throughout the rest of the month, I can find something to satisfy the cravings in a healthy way, but for some reason that’s the only time that I have to give in or the cravings just don’t stop. This is my biggest hurtle and I am working on getting over it monthly!
Day 7: Do your parents know you’re trying to lose weight? Do they care?
My mother knows, but my father doesn’t because I rarely talk to him. In fact, it’s been months. Mom is supportive, to an extent. She doesn’t ask how I’m doing with it, but if I tell her she’ll express her happiness. If she lived closer I’m sure she would be different, but the distance makes it difficult because she doesn’t really see the changes.
Day 5: Why do you really want to lose weight? Are you doing it for you?
This is a difficult question to answer, and I guess if I’m honest, there are multiple reasons for why I’m doing this. Some of them are for myself, and some are for others.
The number one reason I am doing it is for my children. My children have seen me eat some pretty unhealthy things, and even go without eating for days on end. I don’t want them to grow up thinking that’s ok. I want them to grow knowing the proper way to nourish themselves to stay healthy. This includes knowing what, when, and how to eat. I don’t want to see them end up like me later on in life so I am hoping that if they see me doing this now that they will carry the knowledge in their own lives and pass it on to their own children eventually.
Justin is very unhealthy and very much overweight, at 360lbs. That scares me to death. He already has high cholesterol and I worry that he will end up having a heart attack before his 40th birthday! Before I started this journey, I had tried to lose weight on my own and had also encouraged Justin to the same, but he just wouldn’t budge. Since starting my own journey and beginning to see success, I have finally been able to convince Justin to allow me to help him start his own journey towards a healthier lifestyle. This was one of my biggest hopes when I started – that he would see me doing it and start working on making himself healthier.
I hate shopping. I know it might seem trivial, but I was so tired of going shopping and taking days (and several stores) to find even one item that fit me properly and didn’t make me feel like a whale. I want to be able to go into ANY store and buy ANY item off the rack without having to go into the Plus Size section. I want to be able to wear a form-fitting outfit without feeling like I have to suck my gut in. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin.
I want to increase my stamina and endurance. I want to be able to go up and down the stairs to do laundry without having to stop in between trips to calm my breathing. I want to be able to walk to the rec centre and jog around the rink. I want to be able to do a 3 minute plank. There are so many more physical things I want to be able to do that I haven’t been able to do for years! I am getting there, which is super exciting, but I still have a long way to go.
Finally, and I am ashamed to admit this in a way; when I started this journey I was doing it partly so that I wouldn’t feel so ugly around the Hooters girls. I was tired of going to events, like the Christmas party, and feeling at least 10 years older than I am. We went to the Christmas party last Winter and the girls were all wearing tight-fitting clothes, skinny jeans, cute little dresses, etc., and I felt every bit like a frumpy housewife. I hated it. It made it super difficult to really let my hair down and enjoy myself. I am a housewife, but I should still be able to feel sexy and attractive, at least in my mind, and I haven’t felt that way in a long time.
So I guess those are my reasons for starting this journey. Some of them are for others, indirectly at least, but most are for me. I guess if I wasn’t doing it for me, I likely would have stopped like ago. Just like every other time.
Day 4: Your greatest fears about weight loss.
I don’t know that I have any real fears, to be honest. If any I guess I am afraid that I won’t be able to reach my goal while others around me do. I’m afraid that I will let life get in the way and that I won’t work hard enough. Ultimately, it’s all in my hands.
Day 3: A picture of your thinspiration. What features do you like about this person?
I chose Reese Witherspoon as my thinspiration. There aren’t so much physical features that I like about her, as there are aspects of her personality and outlook on physical appearance and well-being. She is thin, but not too skinnny and she really doesn’t put too much stock in trying to be perfect. She concentrates on being healthy by eating right and working out regularly, but her priority is being a good mom. That is something to aspire to.
Day 2: How tall are you? Do you like your height?
I am 5’7”. I am ok with my height, I guess. I don’t consider myself short so I really am unaffected by it. The only time it bothers me is when Justin teases me, but he is over 6’ after all…lol.